Structuring Our Day for Eternity

As Latter-Day Saints we have a unique view of child-rearing. Our family relationships are eternal. Sometimes, after I get past the sadness of hearing non-homeschool families complain about having their kids all summer, if they are Latter-Day saints I tend to chuckle thinking, “If you think the summer is long, an eternity with them will seem like….well…an eternity.” . However, it is more than just having them for an eternity that is distinctive of our faith. If our children live valiantly they’ll be exalted and have important eternal responsibilities.

I get both excited and daunted at the weight of our parenting responsibilities. If we do our jobs right, we are raising gods and goddesses. Does that thought overwhelm you like it does me? We still haven’t even mastered the “Ye will not suffer your children….to fight and quarrel one with another” passage in our family life yet, let alone become exalted material. How do we even begin such a task? First let me tell you that, as homeschoolers, we have a tremendous advantage. We can utilize the gospel in every single moment of our day with our children. A word of warning and encouragement: What I am about to share is the ideal. We will fail. There are days this will look like an impossible dream, but why not shoot for the best? Even if we only succeed in a fraction of it, we’ll be doing something well.

Be Spiritually Prepared

Ideally, we should rise well before our children and spend time both in our Scriptures and seeking guidance from our Heavenly Father. I am not a morning person. That combined with the fact that I often have to be up until 2:30 in the morning for one of my jobs and I don’t make the ideal. What I do manage however is to study my scriptures the night before and record my insights in my scripture journal. I do make it a point to have personal prayer in the morning though. I need that. I can also glance at my notes from the previous night’s study time. As we wake our children, we can talk to them about how excited we are about our day. Let them know that Heavenly Father has missions for us to accomplish. Then, as a family gather together to pray and seek His will for our day. During breakfast I can share what I learned in my scripture study the night before.

Focus on Eternity in Everything

After everyone is dressed we gather together for a quick scripture study time. This summer my family is going through the gospel of Luke together because during general conference the Brethren encouraged us to study the New Testament this year. Once our Scripture time is done it is on to our day. Summers are more relaxed, so I’ll pretend this is during our school year. We plunge into our studies. The children rotate between school work and music practice. I keep that all organized with a spreadsheet. Now this is one of my favorite parts. I love the passage in Deuteronomy that discusses parenting, because it is my philosophy of education as well.

“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deut. 6:7

We refer to the gospel throughout our school day. Mathematics shows us the order and majesty of God. History shows us His workings throughout the ages. Science shows us His power and wisdom. I cannot think of a subject where our amazing God and Father cannot be brought into the lesson. We don’t just discuss Him abstractly. We talk about how we can love and serve Him as well His children. For instance, in history we put ourselves in the time period. What might we have done in those situations? How could we have made our world better? How can we now? How blessed our children are for having their days saturated with His love in their academic instruction. Even in handwriting practice we copy verses of scripture.  Think of how much they would miss by going to a school.  I also stress to my children the importance of doing our best in our school work. The more we learn, the more useful we can be to our Heavenly Father.

Once school is out everyone tends to scatter, but we still get to spend time together playing and working. Like every family we don’t always get along. There are days the children can’t stop fighting. Let me give a picture of one way to deal with those times. My two girls either are the best of friends or the worst of enemies at any given moment. There are times they are playing together so sweetly that I am sure we live in Zion already. There are other times when they are at each other’s throats. When that happens I make them sit on my bed with me. First we deal with what they were fighting about. But, when that is over, I also want them to remember their love for one another. No one gets off my bed until they have each shared three things that they enjoy and admire about each person on the bed. Each time we go through that exercise my children leave the room as friends.

Evenings

I like using dinner preparation as a time to spend one on one with one of the children. It is a time to chat and a time to help them learn to cook. During the dinner meal we discuss not only each person’s favorite moment of their day, but our hopes and dreams. My children also usually ask me stories about my childhood. Other things that come up often are funny things about their friends, a television program we love, what movies we want to see, what we’d like our future home to look like. (We’ve never gotten to own a home, so we discuss that dream a lot), and especially books we’ve been reading. I like the dinner table. It is so relaxing.

After dinner it is time for chores. At my home it is also time for me to work. I am a single mom, so I have to work in the evenings. The kids usually play during that time or watch television. If my life were different and I was married, that time would be used differently.We’d be cuddled up together on the couch watching a movie, or gathered around the table playing a board game together. But, life is what it is and that is not possible for us.

At some point in the evening, I pause from work to get everyone in pajamas and brush their teeth. Then we all get on my bed. I read them a chapter of a book, and we have family prayer. Then, I bring my laptop to my bed while they fall asleep. My youngest still sleeps with me so I work in bed until he falls asleep. Then I do my Scripture study, finish working my evening job, and go to sleep myself.  The whole glorious experience begins anew the next day. Now, just so I don’t give a false picture, our days aren’t always ideal.  We are human. We fight, we argue. Sometimes a child will not stop putting their bum in the air during prayer time. NO ONE ever is excited about their chores. But, we love each other and we keep trying. With effort and preparation, we really can structure our days for eternity.

Annmarie is a single mom who homeschools her four children. You can learn more about Annmarie, her conversion and spiritual thoughts on her blog www.annmarieathome.blogspot.com